Losing Control Read online

  “Cal isn’t going anywhere either,” Gabe pointed out. “You can have the guestroom.”

  “Nope, I’ll call a cab.” She couldn’t explain why she needed to go home. Not to them. They were so thrilled and wrapped up in this little piece of wonderful they had going for them, looking toward the future with nothing but promise and hope. As happy as she was for them—and she was, beyond words—she just needed to be alone, away from all of it.

  “Oh for crying out loud.” Kate rolled her eyes. “I’ll drive you home. Lord, knows I’m sober and will be for the next five and a half months.”

  She moved to stand, and guilt settled in Maggie’s stomach like cement. Gabe opened his mouth to protest, but Spencer stood then.

  “I’ll take her. I’ve only had the one beer.”

  “Oh, okay.” Maggie grinned at the couple. “See? Problem solved.”

  She tried to push off the couch, and after a few failed attempts, Spencer offered a hand. Accepting gratefully, she let him pull her to her feet. Instead of trying to put her shoes on, she simply picked them up and tucked them under one of her arms.

  “Good night.” Maggie crossed the room and hugged her friend tightly. “Congratulations, mama. I’m so happy for you.”

  “Thanks,” Kate whispered. “I’ll bring your car over in the morning. We need to go pick your mom up from the airport tomorrow anyway.”

  “See? Perfect plan all around,” Maggie boasted then turned to her brother. “Oh my God, I never asked. Does Mom know? About the baby?”

  “Yes.” Gabe pulled her into a quick hug. “We called her right after the appointment.”

  “Whew, good. Okay, ready?” She spun around a bit to quickly and had to grab hold of Spencer’s arm to keep from stumbling, dropping her shoes in the process. He knelt down and picked them up, and she heard a soft, low chuckle.

  “Yeah, I’m ready.” He winked as he straightened. “Let’s go.”

  They walked to the door, Kate and Gabe on their heels. She retrieved her purse from the bench next to the door, and they said their goodnights.

  Pulling her suit jacket together across her breasts against the chill, Maggie padded in stocking feet to what she assumed to be Spencer’s car, as it was the only one she didn’t recognize on the street. He reached around her, his scent surrounding and filling her senses, and pulled the door open. Once she was sitting inside, he set her shoes on her lap and shut the door. Maggie closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath. The cold air had the unfortunate effect of sobering her up slightly—not that she’d been anything but a bit tipsy. She heard Spencer get in the car and start the engine.

  “You okay?” His hand settled on her thigh and squeezed gently. “Feeling sick?”

  She let out a short laugh and opened her eyes. “I’m not that drunk. I won’t throw up all over your car, I promise.”

  Another quick squeeze, then he was shifting into drive.

  “Just follow this road around the lake,” she instructed. “I’m on the other side.”

  “All right.”

  “Thanks for doing this.”

  He glanced over at her. “No problem. Though, do you mind if I ask why?”

  “Why I’m thanking you?” she teased. When he didn’t say anything, she sighed. “Why didn’t I stay? That’s…complicated, hard to describe.”

  “Try me,” he prompted.

  Oh God, would she love to try him. To see if he tasted as good as she thought he would. If those hands would feel as good on the rest of her body as they had on her thigh for that brief moment. If he would… She pressed her lips together and mentally scolded herself for the errant thoughts.

  “I just didn’t want to intrude.”

  He shook his head. “That’s not complicated or hard to describe. And it’s not the reason you didn’t want to stay.”

  “Okay, you asked for it. Here it goes.” She twined her fingers together tightly in her lap. “I wanted to be alone. I’m happy for them. Don’t think that I’m not. My best friend and my brother are getting married, and they’re having a baby. How could I not be happy about that?”

  “But that’s not all,” he murmured. “Not all you’re feeling.”

  Maggie’s eyes burned suddenly and her vision wavered. “No,” she whispered, guilt once more laying siege to her middle. “I’m jealous. I know it’s petty and just…stupid, but I see them together, see the life they’re building, and there’s just a part of me that is incredibly sad.”

  “Hmmmm.”

  “That’s it?” she snapped. “Hmmm?”

  “Do you want me to tell you that you shouldn’t feel that way?” he asked. “I’m not going to.”

  “I don’t know! I just thought you’d have more of a reaction to my crappy feelings than hmmm.”

  “Your feelings aren’t crappy.” He sighed. “They’re just feelings.”

  “But it’s like I have this nugget of jealousy wedged right in my gut, and when I see them, or hear wonderful news like this baby, it just expands and overwhelms me. What is that about? I love Kate, love my brother. She’s my best friend, and…” She threw her hands up helplessly and let them fall back down.

  “And this is an adventure she’s on that you aren’t a part of.”

  Maggie’s mouth dropped open a moment as she digested his words.

  “You’ll be there, obviously, as the sister and friend,” he continued, “but this is something that is hers, separate from you, something you don’t have. Something you want, perhaps.”

  “It’s not like I’m falling apart because I don’t have a man in my life, and a baby on the way. My life is just fine,” she said defensively. Even though she knew, deep down, what he was saying was true.

  “I never said it wasn’t,” he said simply. “Doesn’t mean that sometimes you don’t want more. Or different. Especially when you see someone else who is so obviously happy.”

  “Turn here,” she said as they came up to the road she lived on. “There, on the left.”

  Spencer pulled into the driveway and, after parking, killed the engine. “Nice house. You grew up here, right?”

  “Yeah, Cal and I moved back in when Dad got sick. After Cal bought the building in town, he moved out again. I should probably get my own place, too, but hate the thought of leaving Mom alone in this big old house.”

  He nodded. “Your mom’s coming back tomorrow from where?”

  “She was visiting my aunt in Florida. She’s gone there a few times since Dad…” she swallowed heavily, “since Dad passed away.”

  He unbuckled and got out of the car then circled the front to her door. She let him help her out as she hung onto her shoes and purse. He kept his hand on her elbow, guiding her to the porch. She rifled through her purse for her keys, then unlocked and opened the front door.

  “Thanks again for the ride.” Maggie dropped her belongings on the floor inside and looked up at him. In the dim light, his eyes were intense, and completely focused on her.

  “My pleasure.”

  His husky voice incited shivers up her spine.

  “And for listening,” she added. “I really appreciate it. I’ve been feeling like this for a while, and I normally would talk to Kate.” She shrugged helplessly. “It was good to just say it out loud, and I can’t really do that with…well, you know.”

  “Yeah, I know.” He reached up and tucked some hair that had fallen loose behind her ear.

  Maggie closed her eyes at the warm brush of his fingers and let out a shuddery breath. She realized she was leaning into his touch, but couldn’t bring herself to pull away.

  “Just how drunk are you?” he asked, his voice a whisper in the darkness.

  “Not drunk, just a tad tipsy.” She slowly opened her eyes. “And it’s wearing off quickly. Why?”

  “Wanted to know how guilty I should feel later for this.”

  He stepped closer and, wrapping his arm around her waist, pulled her body flush with his. With his other hand, he cupped the back of her head. Maggie�
�s heart beat wildly as his head descended. Her mind raced then all thought vanished when his firm lips touched hers.

  His fingers flexed, loosening the twist her hair was in. Maggie sighed, opening her mouth to his gently prodding tongue. As he slid inside, heat burst within her, and she pressed her thighs together as need coiled tightly in her core. She lifted her hands to his cheeks, sighing in his mouth as stubble abraded her palms. Spence pulled the pins from her hair and the tresses fell like a curtain over her shoulders and down her back. Cupping her hands behind his head, Maggie walked backward into the house, her mouth never leaving his.

  Once inside, she used her foot to swing the door shut. The sound echoed through the foyer and Spence pulled back slightly. Maggie forced her eyes open and, heavy-lidded, met his gaze. His breathing harsh, he rested his forehead against hers and dropped his hands to her hips.

  “Maggie,” he whispered, then brushed his lips against her mouth, once, twice. “Damn, you taste so good.”

  She smiled and tried to kiss him again, only to have him pull back more. “What is it?”

  “I’d better go.”

  “Why?” Rising up on tiptoes, she caught his bottom lip between her teeth in a quick nip. God, she didn’t want him to go. She wanted to just crawl up him, wrap herself around him until the ache inside eased. Until she couldn’t think anymore.

  “Maggie,” he said again. “As much as I want to stay—”

  She gripped his shoulders and spun him around, pushing him against the door.

  “Just…just shut up.” Body pressed to his, she took his mouth roughly. Tasted him fully. And lost herself in him.

  Chapter Three

  The feel of Maggie’s lips on his made it difficult to think rationally. Her tongue slithered past his lips and her taste burst in his mouth. Fruity and hot, like berries left to warm in the sun. Difficult? Hell, damn near impossible.

  Spence tried to focus on all the reasons he needed to leave. They’d only just met. She’d been drinking. Christ, she was Cal’s sister. He couldn’t just jump into bed with her. Maggie pressed against him, ran her palms down his chest, over his stomach to the waistband of his jeans. Pulling away slightly, he looked down at her upturned face. Flushed cheeks, wet lips slightly parted, eyelids heavy.

  “Darlin’, we can’t…” God, he couldn’t even put a full sentence together.

  “Why not?” she asked. “I want you.” She moved her hand lower to cup his erection through denim. Spence gritted his teeth against the guttural sound rising in his throat and fought the urge to strain into the touch. “And I’m pretty damned sure you want me, too.”

  “No question about that,” he murmured and cradled her face in his palms. “I just…” Her fingers slipped beneath his shirt, grazing his skin. “I just don’t want to take advantage or…” he hissed in a breath, “rush anything.”

  She hummed low in her throat then moved even closer, rubbing against him sinuously. “Sometimes, rushing isn’t a bad thing.” She looked at him from beneath her lashes. “Sometimes it’s a really, really good thing.”

  Spence closed his eyes briefly. He couldn’t just… Oh fuck it all. He dropped his hands to her hips and, gripping them, lifted her. Her skirt rode high up her thighs as she wrapped her legs around his waist. Moving swiftly, he turned so Maggie was against the wall and claimed her mouth.

  Her hands abandoned their journey over his body and delved into his hair as the kiss deepened, sweetened and obliterated any logical thought. Shifting, Spence cupped her ass and ground his cock against her heat.

  “Oh God,” she gasped into his mouth then dropped her head back. “Yes.”

  Kissing along her jaw, down to her throat, he widened his stance and reached between them. Satiny skin met his touch just above the tops of her thigh high stockings, and his blood heated, his pulse raced. Using his thumb, he stroked back and forth before moving to the apex of her thighs.

  He made his way back up to capture her mouth with his. Maggie wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed up against him. He deepened the kiss, pushing his tongue past her lips as he cupped her mound. Her lace panties were damp and teased his palm. He groaned as she circled her hips, pressing against his touch.

  When he pulled his hand from between her legs, she whimpered in protested and wrenched her mouth from his.

  “Don’t stop,” she said.

  He kissed her lips and, holding her tightly, straightened. Spying the couch through the arched doorway, he strode toward it. He laid her across the soft cushions and stood, for a moment, just looking down at her. All mussed and flushed. He’d wager not too many saw her in such a state—she seemed the type to always be put together.

  “Spencer,” she murmured, holding out her hand.

  Without a word, he gripped the hem of his T-shirt and stripped it off. Her quick intake of breath caused his cock to jerk against his zipper. She sat up and shifted until she had a leg on either side of him. Her face turned up and her gaze locked with his, she reached for the button of his jeans. The backs of her fingers brushed his abs as she undid his pants, and he bit his lip to keep from groaning. A pointless task as the low sound escaped when she pressed her lips just above the waistband of his boxers. He shoved his hands into her hair, roughly massaging her scalp as she eased his pants over his hips and down his legs.

  “Shoes,” she murmured hotly against his skin.

  He barely managed to stay upright as he toed off his sneakers and stepped out of his pants. Maggie slipped her hands into his boxers and inched them down until his cock sprang free. Her appreciative hum vibrated through him as she wrapped her lips around the head of his cock. Her tongue circled him maddeningly, then without warning, she opened and took him in deeply. He fisted her hair, and his balls pulled up close to his body. Fuck. It’d been way too long since he’d had a woman, he’d be lucky to… Oh fuck. His cock nudged the back of her throat and she swallowed around him.

  “Maggie,” he choked out. “Darlin’, you need to—”

  She palmed his sac and squeezed rhythmically as she moved up and down on his shaft. Quickening her strokes, she tightened her lips around him, working him closer and closer to release. Somewhere in his mind, a little voice told him to pull away, to hold off and focus on her, but the dull roar in his ears soon drowned out any rational thought. Fire raced down his spine, pooled at the base of his cock, then exploded as he came in Maggie’s sweet, hot mouth.

  Maggie pulled off Spencer, licking his cock clean. She could barely resist the urge to smack her lips together as she looked up at him. The feel of him in her mouth, his taste bursting on her tongue… She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, his spicy male scent enveloping her. Her body trembled in anticipation. His fingers still tangled in her hair, Spencer leaned forward and their mouths met. She poured every ounce of need and desire she felt into the fevered kiss. Spencer guided her back until she sprawled across the couch again. When he pulled away slightly and met her gaze, her breath caught in her throat. The need in his eyes amped her excitement higher, and she wiggled her hips. Resting his knee on the cushion between her legs, he released her tresses and ran his tongue over her collarbone. His palms slid roughly along her thighs, pushing up her skirt. Slivers of heat burrowed in her belly. Her folds swelled and dampened even more, and her clit twitched. Desire skittered along her spine, teasing every nerve ending in her body, as he moved to caress her inner thigh. She spread her legs wider. Up and up, his fingers went until he was just at her sex…then he straightened.

  His perfect, white teeth flashed when she groaned in protest and lifted her hips, desperate for his touch. She drank in the sight of his naked form—every sculpted inch of him. God, he was beautiful. Maggie clenched her fingers, itching to touch him again.

  She opened her mouth to speak, but couldn’t form a thought, let alone speech, when he dropped to his knees. He grasped her leg, draped it over his shoulder and pulled her closer. Her gasp echoed through the room when he glided a finger between her pussy lips, j
ust grazing her clit.

  His breath danced over her folds, and Maggie arched her back, wanting his mouth on her more than anything. She quivered uncontrollably as she waited. When he flicked her clit with the tip of his tongue, she nearly came then and there. He teased the tiny nub mercilessly before moving lower and thrusting his tongue inside her channel.

  “Oooooh,” she gasped. Oh dear God, she couldn’t draw in a breath, couldn’t do anything but shake and pulse against him as he fucked her with his mouth. Even as fiery pleasure coursed through her, she ached for more. Her pussy needed to be filled, needed to have his cock buried balls deep inside her.

  He shifted slightly and, as he pulled her clit into his mouth, he thrust his fingers inside her. Her back arched, and her choked scream shattered the silence as she fell into her release. Every muscle tensed sweetly as she contracted around his hand. He continued to suck hard on the sensitive bundle of nerves, drawing the orgasm out until she thought she couldn’t take anymore.

  After a few moments, Spencer moved her leg from his shoulder and let it rest on the couch. Maggie let out a sigh of pleasure when he laid his head on her stomach. She slid her hand into his hair, stroking slowly as she tried to catch her breath.

  God, she felt so…so damned good. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d been this satisfied, and they hadn’t even gotten to the main event yet. Excitement and anticipation made her tummy clench even as she stifled a yawn. She let her eyes drift shut as she continued to play with his hair, floating sleepily in the cloud of post-orgasmic contentment. Yeah, it had been too damned long.

  Maggie wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but she stirred when she felt her skirt being tugged down. Forcing her eyes open, she tried to focus on Spencer, who was pulling the afghan from the back of the sofa and draping it over her.

  “Wait,” she murmured, reaching for him. They hadn’t even… Her hand brushed his jean-clad thigh. When the hell had he gotten dressed? She blinked sleepily and moved to sit up, but Spencer stopped her.